Internet Woes
by TheHunterPersian
Summary: Paulette introduces Volk to the internet, who happens to stumble upon a very... 'fascinating' subculture created by none other than humans. T for crude humor, intended to be a humorous/minor friendship based fic. Oneshot.


**(AN: hey guys! In the midst of all the Memoirs of Mobius U stories, I kinda wanna do some other fandoms too because, well, I can write 'em too! So, I present you my first Arc the Lad: Twilight of the Spirits fic!**

 **I've been like fanatically obsessed with Twilight of the Spirits since i beat it like a month ago, and can't even get enough of it. It's made me wanna get the Arc the Lad collection and End of Darkness too, and I really wanted to do a fic since two nights ago. Maybe reading other Arc the Lad fics also helped too, but y'know, here's a new fic since apparently this archive hasn't updated since June :O**

 **One thing I really wanted to see more of was the human and Deimos interactions after the game, but I felt the game kinda ended a bit TOO soon. I tried to make sure this wasn't OOC (as I've seen in other Arc the Lad fics), but still feel iffy about some parts. OH WELL.**

 **Long AN aside, here's a fic about an interaction I would have liked to see more of, Paulette and Volk!)**

* * *

It was something none of their other friends, not even Kharg or Darc respectively could understand. Volk, his wife and son killed at the hands of Paulette's father, who died from an attack of retaliation by the Lupine. It was no wonder why the two disliked each other since they first met.

And yet, after the defeat of the Lord of the Black Abyss, the human and Deimos became… somewhat friends.

Granted there were still some heated arguments the two would have, but they had begun to respect each other as fighters, and as people. The daughter of the command corps leader learned more about Deimos in the time she spent company with Volk, and so did the muscular blue Lupine with humans (as much as he disliked it).

Right now, Paulette was trying to introduce a new human concept to Volk, something Tatjana called a 'computer'.

"No! What makes you think I want to use some human device!" Volk argued. If there was one thing that hadn't died it, it was Volk's hatred for humans (with the exception of Paulette, and to an extension, her friends).

"Volk, it's not that bad. I promise. Remember that time I spent in Deimos land learning more about you?" Paulette replied.

"That's different! This… thing… who knows what it could do!"

"Look, I'll make you a deal. This'll only be JUST for today, okay? I promise I won't try to make you use, what you call a 'human device' again."

"Hmph, I should be skeptical knowing you humans. But I trust you, human."

"It's Paulette."

"Right, Paulette."

"Well, take a seat."

The muscular blue Lupine walked over to the chair and sat down, staring at the machine in front of him as if it were going to attack him at any moment.

"How do I use this?" Volk asked.

"Well, I can't tell you EVERYTHING… Tatjana only explained to me the basics. But what I do know is that your mouse here," Paulette picked up the mouse to her right. "-is how you control your cursor here. See?"

Volk watched as the object Paulette called a 'cursor' moved around the screen. Admittedly, watching the cursor move around caused the Lupine to follow it around with his eyes.

"-and you simply move it around- Volk, are you listening?"

"Yes! Yes I am!" He replied sharply. "Just move it around, got it."

"Rrrright. Anyway, you got these two buttons here, the one on the left lets you click on stuff. This is the most important one. I wouldn't bother with the right too much."

"And this… thing in front of me?" Volk said, picking up the keyboard by its wire and looking at it with curiosity.

"That's your keyboard. It lets you type words."

"I see, but what purpose does this thing have?!"

"Plenty of things! My favorite is going on the internet."

"Internet? That sounds exactly something like what you humans would come up with. Or some kind of a monster. Tell me, human-I mean, Paulette! What is this… internet?"

"Well, it allows you to see things from all around this world."

"All?"

"All of it. Well, maybe not in your Deimos countries, or in some human towns. This computer stuff is kinda new. But you get the idea! And you can find anything your mind can conjure up!"

"Anything?"

"Anything."

"Well I'll be damned. Paulette, show me… show me a weapon! Prove to me this thing can do its job!"

"Alright then…"

Paulette clicked on the mouse and began typing away. 'Big sword' she typed, and pressed enter on the keyboard. Immediately pictures of swords appeared on the screen.

"Ho ho ho!" Volk laughed. "So this thing does what you said it did…"

"See? It's not bad now, is it?"

"I must see more! I didn't realize how… fascinating this could be."

"Well, let's find something."

Paulette scrolled down across all the pages she saw, clicking away at each page until one caught her eye.

"Huh? ?" She said. "What in the heck?"

Paulette clicked on the website, where images of various anthropomorphic animals were everywhere.

"Oh yeah! I know about this. It's a website full of humans who have an interest in anthropomorphic animals."

"What?"

"They like human-like animals. Like you!"

"Rrr! I'm not an animal; I'm a proud Lupine warrior!"

"Well, you get what I mean."

"I DON'T!"

"What I mean by that, is that they have human-like qualities, like the ability to speak, walk, all that. Who knows? Maybe you might even find yourself there."

"Myself?"

"Yeah! Now, explore around that site a bit, but don't make any comments. I'm gonna make myself a snack."

Paulette left the room as Volk looked at the site, typing his name slowly and clicking on "Show adult results".

* * *

Paulette consumed the rest of her tea, sighing in relief.

"That was good. I might wanna make some for Kharg when he gets back-"

"HUMAN!"

"Huh?"

Immediately, rushing footsteps came towards Paulette. It was Volk, looking incredibly angry.

"V-Volk! What's wrong?!"

"What's wrong? WHAT'S WRONG?! I'LL SHOW YOU!"

Volk grabbed Paulette by the arm tightly and dragged her back to the computer room. He grabbed her head and shoved it in front of the screen.

"This is what's wrong, human!"

On it, it was a picture of Volk. He was as muscular as he was in person, which didn't seem odd to Paulette. But it was then that she saw the drawing of Volk in front of her seemed to have human nipples, and-

"Oh Great Spirits, I am looking at what I think I'm looking at, aren't I," The human girl said quickly.

"Are you telling me… there are humans out there who think of me as THIS?! There are humans who think of ME in this way?!"

Paulette sighed. "Look, Volk. Not all humans think this way-"

"Then why I'm I doing… THAT! I've never done ANYTHING like that before! Answer me! You said only humans use this… internet!"

"Lemme explain, remember what I said about people liking anthropomorphic animals?"

"Yes…" Volk growled.

"Well, there's a minority of people who take their love a little… TOO far."

"Too far?"

"They think of said anthropomorphic characters in a sexual manner."

Volk stood silent.

"Now, not EVERY human who likes this kinda thing is into stuff like that."

"What about the others then? The others who do things like… this!"

As Volk scrolled down, he saw comments talking about how they wanted to 'worship' the Lupine, and do many other things that are too explicit to describe for a T-rated story.

Suddenly, Volk stopped.

"Huh… They want to do all of this with me?" he asked.

"Volk… what are you getting at?" Paulette asked, reading the rather… mature comments.

Volk grinned slyly, coming to a realization. "I know what I'll do… I'll find these humans who think of me this way, let them have their way with me for a little while, and while they're distracted, I'll kill them! Ha ha ha! I haven't killed some humans in a while; maybe today might be the day that changes…"

The muscular Lupine walked away from the computer, leaving the human girl by herself. "Where's my axe?! It's time I feast for blood!"

"Volk! I- oh, he's hopeless…" Paulette said, shaking her head. "I just knew getting him into the internet was a bad idea…"


End file.
